30. Perfectionism

Perfectionism is the tendency to believe that things must be perfect all the time. (This is not the same as OCD… We'll talk about that later). A perfectionistic person might feel crushed when their goals go unmet, when really their goals were just unrealistically set to begin with. (Y’all remember- we just talked about realistic expectations and how to set SMART Goals… See previous blogs and reels). A perfectionistic thinker might spend a lot of their time and energy on trivial problems. They are typically motivated by fear of failure, fear of rejection or criticism; and they might even view themselves as a total failure unless things go 100% perfectly in a given situation. Let's flip the script!…

Instead of striving for perfection, we can simply strive for our best effort! Someone who is instead striving for their best effort is going to prioritize their time to solving problems that matter the most; they understand that the only situations that call for perfection are brain surgery and heart surgery; they are motivated by the potential for success, growth, and the opportunity to learn; and they see themselves with a balanced perspective- as a person with both strengths and weaknesses. Remember: You are a human, not a robot.

This brings us to the topics of self-compassion and growth mindset. We’ll talk about those soon!

— Emily Duncan, LCSW
Duncan Counseling, LLC
Therapy for bright young women in TN, KY, FL